i miss running

And, apparently, running misses me, too.

I got this in my inbox the other day:

It’s from MapMyRun, and they miss me. The last run I tracked was back in April. APRIL. (Now, I don’t track every run–really, I haven’t been running regularly since school started, but holy cow–has it really been that long since I mapped a new route??)

As I said in this recent post, exercise hasn’t been a big part of my life lately. Sad. Very sad. The saddest part? The increasing tightness of my jeans…

The other day, I really thought that to myself–that I did, in fact, miss running. And working out in general, but mostly running. We had a wonderful fall day earlier this week when I had a chance to run outside and enjoy the weather, but I didn’t.

It’s like I have a block or something. I think my brain just cannot take a single additional thing to think about; between school, swimming, scheduling, cleaning, cooking, homework, house-planning and projecting, I just can’t squeeze anything else in there. Now that the laundry room is done, I already a feel a little relief, but I’m not ready to jump into a rigorous gym schedule like I did so easily last semester.

And the good news is that, after two months of beating myself up over it, I’m giving myself permission to NOT work out right now. I think my body, my sanity, my marriage needs it, heck–I KNOW my brain needs it right now. I’m swimming twice a week now, and have high hopes I’ll get back to my punk rope class at the gym Saturday morning, but other than that, I’m not stressing. Or at least trying not to.

I’ll hit the road again soon.

**Edited to add: I wrote this post a few days ago and have been saving it in my queue until I had a chance to post it. I’m actually going running in about an hour! It’s 6:50 on Sunday morning and a friend/acquaintance (OK, it’s one of my professors who lives in Orchard Park…how does one refer to them?) invited me yesterday to meet her at a local park. AND I made it to punk rope yesterday. AND I’m back to calorie-counting; those pesky SEVEN (thank goodness it’s not more!) pounds have nothing on me! The light at the end of the tunnel is shining down on me RIGHT NOW.

adjusting expectations

So… I think I’ve finally accepted the fact that there are just some things that aren’t a part of my life right now, now that I’m back in school and especially because of the on-going chaos in our house right now.

(I realize some of you don’t understand what the chaos is all about… I mean, we’ve moved in, right? Yes, and no. Ninety percent of our stuff is where it should be, but the rest is scattered all over floors and leaning up against walls. Couches are not in their final destinations. NOTHING has been hung or decorated. Piles of candles, albums and other miscellaneous items are all over the floors and half of our downstairs area is essentially empty. The office looks just like it did a day after we moved in…two months ago. Add to that all the accumulated animal hair and house project dust and you’ve got constant craziness.)

So, getting back to the things that AREN’T a part of my life right now:

-clean floors

-decent nails (I say ‘decent’ because mine are bordering on absolutely unacceptable, so ‘nice’ would be a unrealistic–in fact, the polish on my toes might actually GROW OFF before I get a chance to repaint…)

-French-press coffee (who was I kidding to think I could make that on school mornings?)

-sleep

-homemade granola bars

-homemade bread (as in, not using the breadmaker)

-homemade anything, really (although I have sneaked in yogurt and some muffins)

-free time (HA!)

-sitting (you think I kid)

-dried beans (canned ones are so much more convenient)

-dog walks…poor guy 😦

-exercise 😦 😦

-Budgeting–My brain just can’t handle anymore thinking! Sorry Andrew…

And then there are some things that are much MORE a part of my life right now:

-packaged convenience foods, like granola bars from the grocery store

-two and (sometimes) even three cups of coffee per day

-rushing

-stress

-HOMEWORK

-tardiness (except to class–I leave an hour and a half early!)

So, as you can see, things are little rough for me right now.

where you’ll find me on Wednesdays

On campus, in the Starbucks cafe in the bookstore:

I have a three-hour break and since it’s not really worth going all the way home and back, I grab a computer here and get a bunch of work done.
Sadly, they don’t take Starbucks cards, but (shameless plug here) they do take Barnes and Noble gift cards! I’m gonna need a coffee fund…
Chem lab doesn’t even start until 6 p.m….